You were a person in profound pain, and you went to a coach for help. The shame you are carrying does not belong to you.

Their Instagram feed was beautiful. They used all the right words you were so desperate to hear: "trauma-informed," "somatic," "neuro-affirming." They shared a vulnerable story that sounded just like yours. They promised a rapid, profound transformation that the slow, frustrating therapy world never could.

So you paid the high price. You trusted them.

But in the sessions, the shiny language faded. There were no real tools. When your symptoms got worse, they told you it was "part of the process" or that you were "resistant to healing." When you questioned their methods, they hinted that you were the problem. The experience left you feeling more broken, more ashamed, and more alone than when you started.

The Business Model of Predatory Coaching

This is the business model of predatory, unregulated coaching. There is no governing board. There is no mandatory training. There is no accountability. It is the Wild West.

Life coaching is essentially unregulated in the United States: no state requires a license to call yourself a "coach" or even a "trauma coach," and the only standards are voluntary ones a coach can simply opt out of. No license means no board that can stop a bad actor.

Why the Shame Doubled

You went in already hurting. When the coach blamed you for being "resistant," they committed what philosophers call epistemic injustice — dismissing your own valid read on your experience. They silenced your valid perception that something was wrong and replaced it with their narrative that you were the problem. You didn't just lose money. You lost trust in your own judgment, the very thing therapy should be restoring.

The Red Flags You Now Know To Look For

  • They promise a quick fix or a guaranteed outcome. (Healing is a process.)

  • They lack a license number. (No license means no accountability.)

  • They use shame as a tool, blaming you for being "resistant" when their methods fail.

  • Their training is a weekend certification.

  • They can't explain the neuroscience. If they use words like "somatic" or "nervous system" but can't explain what the vagus nerve actually does, it's a costume.

Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC): A clinical professional who has completed a master's or doctoral degree in counseling, passed a national board exam, and completed thousands of hours of supervised clinical experience. They are legally and ethically accountable to a state licensing board. If they harm you, they can lose their license and their livelihood. That accountability is your safety net.

There Is a Safe Harbor

Your experience was real, it was a violation, and it was not your fault. But your desire for a different, more affirming kind of help was also real and valid.

There is a way to have both compassionate, affirming care and rigorous, accountable professionalism. Because the therapeutic alliance predicts positive outcomes, and a real alliance is built on trust, competence, and accountability.

Read about our philosophy, explore trauma-informed care, or when you're ready for a safe harbor: Let's talk →

Part of: Therapy Hub → | Related: Science of Trauma · Our Fit Manifesto